Oh I have been the worst, haven’t I? I have completely neglected this space for a month now, trying to fit too much into life and finally realising I can’t do it all. The sad part of that is this: I love writing. I love it more than taking pictures, more than sharing silly little videos and more than any story or tidbit of my life I share on Instagram. That’s not to say I don’t love those things, I do, but I love writing more. I love being able to sit down at a computer and completely lose myself in the written word. It’s an indulgent practice for sure, and one that I’ve found hard to find time for as of late, mainly because it does require not only time but a great deal of attention and passion. All the great writers that have existed in our time say that real writers are always writing, they’re always composing and must always find a rhythm to work that can exist anywhere. I am, in fact, composing constantly. I write as I walk, detailing the smallest moments around me. But here’s the rub, I never write it down. Or if I do, it ends up in a note on my iPhone and then nothing comes of it. For those of you that follow me on Instagram, you’ll see the tiny fragments of my mind in captions, which I’m pretty sure 99% of followers never even read.
What I long for are moments like these. It’s 1am and I’m sitting at my laptop, on the porch outside the dock house. I’m all alone, that’s if you don’t count the deafening cicadas and crickets who are perfectly in sync, sharing a symphony they have played every night of their lives for the residents of the Lowcountry. It is a sound familiar to every resident and visitor and a welcome distraction from the sticky heat and persistent no-see-ums (a small bug with a bite that is actually more painful than a mosquito). The moon has come up over the water and spotlights its favourite parts of the marsh, blanketing the tall grass and the flying fish which leave the moonlight rippled on the water’s surface. That wise moon knows where all the action takes place in this neck of the woods and I’m here for the show.
It’s been a day like all the others, yet none at all. You see the beauty seems to run together here and it’s my biggest fear, were I ever to move back, that it would all become a bit too normal and everyday. Even after being here four months (the longest I have been in residence since moving to the UK 20 years ago), I still go out to the end of the dock for every sunset. I still take a picture every single time, then I put away my phone and stand in the sun, trying to absorb every ounce of magic light and warmth.
I once read that we take too many pictures with our phones and it changes the way our brains remember moments in our lives. So, for important moments like these, I don’t let technology take away any ounce of any memory being formed. I’ll need every detail when I’m back in London. I’ll need to remember how every hair on my arm stood on end as dolphins skimmed the docks as the sun passed through the clouds on its final descent. I’ll need to remember the smell of pluff mud and the sounds made as creatures great and small make their way over and under the sticky surface at low tide. I’ll need to remember the feel of my skin in the sticky heat of a day that reads 103 on the thermometer and really feels like 110 in the blazing sun. Ok, maybe I can forget that moment, along with every mosquito bite that is currently itching on my body from little toe to the top of my forehead. Yup, they’re bad this year.
The point being, I’ve wanted to share so much, I’ve wanted to write so much, but life has had other plans, as it always does for all of us. But, I have been encouraged to sit down and write outside the blogosphere, to construct something else that may or may not present itself in another form one day. But for now, I’m still here, still trying to deliver and doing so in a rather sporadic manner, for which I apologise.
I did, however, want to share a few memories from the Lowcountry, in picture form. Consider it encouragement for making a visit, when you can. In the meantime, have a wonderful week ahead and feel free to join in the conversation in the comments section below.