“I’m sorry”… I seem to be saying that a lot lately

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve written here. That’s a record of sorts. Radio silence on the website is something I’ve tried to avoid. But, these past two weeks haven’t been easy. Heck, who is it easy for at the present date? Honestly! Well, apart from all the kids in Miami that seem to be living life like it’s spring break 2019! Come on, kids. Seriously?

If I’m being entirely honest, which I hope you know I have tried to maintain through everything, I haven’t wanted to post anything anywhere. I haven’t wanted to talk about fashion or suggest new outfits or do seven days of style. I haven’t wanted to create, at all. I guess you’d call that a “rut.” I thought about shutting everything down completely for a while, taking a step back from the world online and just retreating until I could find my mojo, but then the online world is what saved me in that moment. I read a post that said one should do the opposite of what they want for comfort. When you want to retreat, this post said “find community.” So, I decided I’d continue to post every day on the good old instagram and that’s it. I left everything else quiet.

You see, I’ve made a big life decision and it’s taken me a lot of breathing, crying, dreaming and plotting to figure out how that would work. Don’t get too excited. I’m not quite ready to birth that colossal baby here on the blog tonight. But, it’s something that has weighed on me so heavily for the past few months and I needed space to let it simmer. I needed long walks through fairytale forests, prolonged pauses next to bubbling brooks and moments of complete solitude while I let torrential downpours completely saturate my skull.

There were so many moments when I wanted to take out my phone and share the moment, as I have done over the past twelve months. But, on the anniversary of our moving out to the country, I needed to figure some other stuff out that required me to put down the phone and just be in the moment, by myself. So, for that, I am sorry. I know that the stories I’ve shared from this village over the past twelve months have brought great calm to many, and I have loved every message you have sent, every word of encouragement for more. I promise this will resume, and again I am sorry for the silence.

I am predicting a big change here for the future. But, I’m also predicting some tough times before that change happens. And I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to ask for some patience as that occurs. Some patience for me having some off days, when I’m not able to respond to messages as quickly as I do or perhaps days when I’ll not be online at all. I promise that whatever happens next will be for the best and that everything will get back on track with more energy and hunger to share than ever before.

I will just end on this note. This past week I turned 41 years old, my second birthday in lockdown in the UK. I used to laugh at the idea of a midlife crisis. I used to see them play out in movies and think, “who on earth goes through this?” Well, ladies and gents, turns out the midlife crisis is a real thing for many and I’m thinking this is it for me. I guess this will all make for an interesting blogpost on the other side of it. In the meantime, I promise not to buy a sports car, dye my hair blonde and move to Tahiti. Imagine!

Thanks in advance for all the support you guys have shown me and this website over the past 11 years. I’m not going anywhere, I’m just recalibrating! And I have a feeling that the next chapter is going to look very exciting indeed.

Lots of Love,

Emily

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6 Comments

  1. Stephanie
    21st March / 11:09 pm

    Emily,
    Believe it or not, we care about YOU. Not your fantastic fashion sense, glorious countryside, interesting travels or animal antics. Your kind heart, humor and humility shine through and anyone who has followed you around the “cyber” world would agree, I believe. Whatever is best for you, do it. And we will be cheering you on!

    • Katie
      24th March / 4:15 am

      I second that. Do what you need to do for you! (And don’t feel the need to apologize. these are unsteady times for a lot of people, and also a chance to reassess and recalibrate.)

  2. Sandy
    22nd March / 1:27 am

    Wishing you lots of love and peace !!! Take all the time you need!! Take it from someone who knows, life is too damn short to care about what everyone is thinking!! You do you and find what you need😍

  3. CKillion
    22nd March / 10:48 am

    Sending lots of love and I can’t wait to come along for the recalibration journey!!

  4. Emily
    22nd March / 3:46 pm

    Turned 40 in January, can’t wait for things to open up again so I can get my midlife crisis ear piercings. Also, my husband gave me a scooter (not the Vespa kind) for my birthday…I fully look the part! The weird thing is that I feel like I should be older to be having a midlife crisis but here we are…

  5. Susan Merryman
    23rd March / 12:27 am

    Oh that last sentence!!! Take care lovely, cannot wait to see what’s up next for you!

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