I am a burger connoisseur. I’ve eaten burgers everywhere from the Ivy to the food trucks in Malibu and I consider it my civic duty to report on the duds and the spuds (french fries) that I encounter along the way. Last week a friend suggested I pop into Meat Liquor just off Oxford Circus to try what they claimed to be the “best burger in London”. That’s quite a statement and I was almost sure this was going to be a case of great exaggeration. But hey, I’m always game for trying out new burger joints. So I grabbed Mr. FFG, his best friend and my bestie from Cult Beauty and off we went for a burger adventure.
We arrived at Meat Liquor at 6:45pm on the dot. We had been told that the queues outside reach epic lengths after seven so we thought we’d beat the crowds. It should be noted that Meat Liquor does not take reservations so everyone must queue. It doesn’t matter if your Madonna or Mario Testino, there is a line and you must stand in it. So at 6:45pm there were ten people in front of us and one person in our party was running late. The line moved quickly and we made our way to the front door and were just about to be seated when we were told that we would have to wait for our entire party to arrive before doing so. We were lead to the bar and told that our fourth would have to join the back of the queue when he arrived and we would be seated when he made it to the door. Unfortunately, this meant that we were not seated at our table until 7:45 as essentially the queueing began again because of a tardy friend. Bummer!
I was not an unhappy camper at all sitting at the bar enjoying the fine eye candy walking around and the wine that we sipped from jelly jars. I felt at home… I was back in the south again. Heavy metal played so loudly you had to shout to have a conversation and the red lighting set the mood making you think you were in a dive bar in America rather than behind Debenham’s off Oxford Street.
The moment finally came when we were to be seated. We sat family style around a large round table with two other parties and waited for our appetizers to arrive. This whole meal was a classic case of eyes being much bigger than our stomachs. Chili cheese fries and chicken wings arrived first. Each was just as delicious as you could imagine. It was pure filth food that tasted so delicious it was enough to make you think that salvation was truly found beneath a chili, cheese and mustard french fry pile!
Then came the burgers. Now I’ve wrestled with how to write this. How do you accurately describe a burger that melts like chocolate in your mouth? Do you talk about how the carefully calculated amount of cheese complimented the pile of ground beef perfectly? Or do I concentrate on the fact that the pickles used in the burger were just the right pinch of sweet to bring out the taste of all the elements at play? Or how about the fact that with each bite you take you begin wishing that you had worn elastic pants so that you could finish that burger and order yet another? Finally I settled on the fact that I cannot describe this burger. I can only say it’s the best… the best burger in London… and one of the best burgers I’ve ever had on earth!
Go… go to meat liquor…queue and sit at the bar and wear “fat pants” so you can eat like you’ve never eaten before. You won’t regret it. You’re rear end might tell a different tale if you start eating there too regularly, but for a one off experience it’s worth every single calorie (and I reckon we each averaged 5,000 in one sitting).
Meat Liquor 74 Welbeck Street, London W1G 0BA
Contact: 020 7224 4239 www.meatliquor.com
